


Dogs Aren't The Only Babies Who Can Swing A Knife Around

by ShinyMew



Category: Drawtectives - Fandom, Hot Guy P.I. (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Just a silly little fic that popped into my head, Takes place in the Hot Guy universe so Grendan and York are humans, The Hot Guy PI x Drawtectives crossover no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinyMew/pseuds/ShinyMew
Summary: Nando and Schmidt are out looking for their beloved knife dog and run into a few interesting characters along the way.The crossover fic no one asked for.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	Dogs Aren't The Only Babies Who Can Swing A Knife Around

“SCHIMDT WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!” Nando bellowed, practically kicking down the door to the office the two men shared.

Schmidt jerked up from where he was reclining against his desk, sloshing coffee out of his cup and all over the floor.

“W-what’s wrong? Did something happen to Nadia?!”

“No, Nadia’s fine! It’s Watson! He cut his leash, and now he’s run off.”

“Jesus, Nando” Schmidt wheezed, putting a hand to his chest. “You can’t scare a man like that, I almost had a heart attack.”

“Don’t _relax_!” Nando protested, stepping around the spilled coffee to drag the other man by the arm to the door. “Watson’s out there all alone! What if he get’s hit by a car?! We have to find him!”

The former model rolled his eyes, but obediently grabbed his coat as he was dragged past the rack and into the morning air, locking the door behind them.

“Alright, lets start looking. We’re private eyes after all, how hard can finding one dog be?”

\--

Very hard as it turned out.

Oh, they picked up the trail easily enough. There weren’t many people out this early in the morning, but Watson was not a subtle dog, and most people the pair spoke to were able to tell them what direction he had run off in. The real trouble started when the directions led them to the alley ways. It was a veritable maze of small twisting paths, with no one out this morning to point them towards their lost dog.

“Hey…Nando” Schmidt began about 40 minutes into their investigation, looking around warily as the walked further into alleys.

“What’s up?”

“Aren’t these the alleyways where all those muggings have been happening recently.”

Nando blinked and looked around. Now that Schmidt mentioned it, he had heard something about that hadn’t he? He hadn’t given it much thought before, it wasn’t the kind of case their agency took on, and he never had any reason to come through this way.

He was about to respond when a sound caught his attention. It sounded like footsteps. Sticking his arm out to halt his partner, Nando put his finger to his lips and pointed to a nearby corner where the sound was coming from. The two shared a look, and after gesturing for Schmidt to stay where he was, Nando crept towards the corner. 

“I WON’T HESITATE BITCH!”

The shout was all the warning Nando got before a knife swung into his field of vision. He threw his hands up and scrambled backwards towards Schmidt, who was shrieking in terror a few feet away. From around the corner appeared the figure on the other side of the knife. It was a young woman, with an undercut and a shock of light pink hair. The adrenaline coursing through Nando sharpened his mind and he began to take in observations rapidly. She was…not the type of person he would have expected to find holding people up in an alley way. For starters, she didn’t exactly seem like she was hurting for money. She looked healthy and her clothes were in good condition. Speaking of clothes, her outfit was hardly practical for getting into fights, heeled boots and a short dress that seemed more likely to hinder her movement than aid it. He was no Schmidt but he had seen enough social media in the last few months to tell her whole look was definitely “on trend”, in some way or another. All in all, a conspicuous look for an alley way robbery, she wasn’t even covering her face for crying out loud!

That uncovered face of hers was giving Nando a lot of information to work with. Her expression was a strange mix of desperation and total bravado, eyes flickering between himself and Schmidt frantically. Despite her earlier outburst, and the knife held steady in her hands, her panic quickly gave way to hesitation, before morphing into outright confusion.

“You’re not…” She began, slowly lowering her knife “….Hey, aren’t you that Instagram model?”

“Y-yes, that’s right.” Schmidt replied, peeking out from where he was cowering behind Nando to regard her warily.

“Let’s start over. I’m Nando, and this is my partner Schmidt. A pleasure to meet you, Miss…?”

Nando slowly lowered his hands and offered his right one out for a handshake. She hesitated but just as she was reaching out for his hand, they were interrupted by the sound of thundering footsteps coming from behind her. All three of them jumped and whipped their heads towards the sound. A figure burst around the corner further down the alley, charging straight for them. It appeared to be a hulking young man, and his enraged eyes were focused squarely on Nando.

Nando let out an undignified squeak and stepped back into a frozen Schmidt. Before the charging bull could reach him though, the young woman stepped between them, her knife disappearing into her pocket.

“Wait, York, stop!”

The young man, York apparently, stopped barely a step away from the girl, his chest bumping against her outstretched hands. Even in her heels, York easily had a foot in height on Nando’s would be savior, and he made use of it to glare down at the P.I.s. Now that he’d stopped his dead sprint, Nando was able to get a could look the younger man. He was well over six-feet tall and jacked like a body builder. York showed off this impressive build by wearing a strange mixture of gym clothes and what seemed to nice coat with sleeves tailored off? He also had an undercut and dyed hair, though his was a bright yellow and pulled back into a small ponytail.

“I heard you shouting Rosé, these guys causing you trouble?”

“No, no, it’s a big misunderstanding!” Rosé exclaimed waving her hands back forth “Seriously though, you gotta back off, I already swung a knife at them, if you start going in on them too the Boss will totally flip!”

York frowned but backed up a few steps, turning his attention fully to Rosé. “You sure? What if these are our guys?”

Rosé snorted “Doubtful. They don’t match the descriptions the victims gave, do they? They surprised me and I jumped the gun a bit, that’s all.”

She turned to Nando and Schmidt who had relaxed considerably once York’s attention was off them. She extended her hand with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that, by the way. I got separated from my friends and I guess I was a bit on edge. I didn’t even hear you guys until you were right on top of me, and I sort of panicked, a bit. It’s nice to meet you Mr. Nando, I’m—”

“Rosé! York!”

Once again the sound of footfalls filled alley, though this time York’s sheer bulk prevented Nando from seeing their source right away. York stepped to the side to allow the newest interruption to join the conversation and from behind Nando, his partner Schmidt made a sound of pure distress. It was another young (?) man. Maybe. It was hard to say for sure. The newcomer was shorter than Rosé and stocky, with brown hair and an impressive beard. Schmidt’s reaction seemed to be in response his outfit, a deep v t-shirt, suspenders on shorts, flips flops, and a fur lined denim jacket. It was a bold look to say the least, one that the stranger completed with oval sunglasses and wide brimmed hat. Nando payed little attention to all that though, because in the other man’s arms was a small brown dog.

“Watson!” Nando cried out in relief.

“Took you long enough, Grendan.” York remarked.

“No, _you_ just went too fast!” the aforementioned Grendan protested, “I’m like half your height dude, and we can’t all be super athletic buff boys, you know.”

“Watson?” Rosé echoed, looking back at the P.I.s.

“The pupper here.” Grendan interrupted. “These are his owners”

Schmidt stopped cringing at the other man’s outfit long enough to look impressed “He _is_ Nando’s dog. How’d you know?”

“I’m a dog whisperer. Your dog told me all his secrets.”

On that ominous note, Grendan held out Watson and Nando shot forward, cradling his dog in his arms. The dog went easily enough, shaking his tail furiously as he was reunited with his owner.

“…Right. Well, thank you so much for keeping an eye on him. We’ve been looking everywhere for him.”

Grendan shrugged with a sunny smile. “No problem, my guy. We were in the area for work anyway, so it was nice to have a task a little closer to my wheelhouse.”

“Work?” Nando glanced around at their surroundings “In the creepy alleys?”

“Yeah. We’re looking into those muggings the in the area.”

Nando regarded their ragtag group dubiously. Unless the state has started arming its officers with knives, they probably weren’t police. His disbelief must have been written all over his face.

“We’re detectives!” Grendan announced cheerfully.

“More like drawtectives…” York mumbled

“ _Private investigators_.” Rosé stressed. “Or, more like we’re the apprentices of a real Private Investigator. She sent us out here to get some info on the muggings that have been happening.”

“That’s what she _said_ ” Grendan chimed in. “But I bet she already knows who it is. She just wanted to get us out of her hair for the day.”

“Well, you aren’t wrong.”

All of them jumped and yelped as yet another new voice broke into their conversation. In particular it came from behind Nando and Schmidt. An older woman walked further into the alley, cane clicking away, her grey hair neat and off her face. She was dressed professionally, more so than anyone in the alley except maybe Schmidt. Her sharp eyes regarded the two of them for a moment before her gaze fell to her apprentices.

“Jancy!” They cheered, flocking around the woman.

“Hello children.” she sighed, exasperation with the smallest drop of fondness evident in her tone. “Working hard I see.”

Her three apprentices all started talking at once, clearly eager to tell their boss what they had discovered so far. She ignored them in favor of regarding Schmidt and Nando. “I hope my three employees haven’t caused you too much trouble.”

“O-oh” Nando stuttered waving his hands in front of him “No, not at all. In fact they helped us a lot, Miss-er that is, Detective…?”

“P.I. Jancy True. A pleasure, Mr. Sy. Schmidt.” Her face creased in an amused smile at the pair’s dumbfounded expressions. “I apologize for cutting our introduction short, but we really must be returning to the office. I’m sure you’d like to open your office for the day as well, yes?”

With a polite nod, she turned around and headed out of the alley. The two young men trailed behind her with hearty cries of ‘goodbye!’ and ‘nice to meet you.’. Rosé hesitated though.

“Er. Sorry, again. About the whole…knife thing.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nando dismissed “Can’t blame you for being jumpy all things considered. You didn’t stab me in the end and you friends brought me my dog. I think we can call it even.”

She offered him a relieved smile. “Right. Nice to meet you both. Maybe I’ll see you around!”

And then she was gone, jogging to catch up with her co-workers.

“Well, that sure was…something” Schmidt remarked eloquently.

Nando snorted “Yeah, I’ll say. You know that lady? P.I. True?”

Schmidt shook his head with a confused frown. “I know _of_ her. P.I. Jancy True is a renowned private eye, I hear she ‘s even brought on to some cases by the police themselves. I wonder how she knew about us though.”

“I mean, its not _that_ weird, is it?” Nando reasoned “We’re all P.I.s working out of the same city. She probably kept tabs on us to make sure we weren’t going to encroach on her customer base or something. Seems like we work wildly different beats though.”

“…Yeah, you’re probably right. Anyway, we found your dog, so let’s head back to the office and open up for the day already. _Someone_ needs to clean up the coffee he made me spill too.”

“Alright, alright, geez.”

\--

Rosé was absent mindedly flipping a small, sturdy rectangle of paper between her fingers as she and her friends walked back to the office.

“What’s that?” York asked, catching her wrist to pull the paper closer to his face. “…I can’t read this…”

“Oh! Oh!” Grendan exclaimed bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Let me see, I’ll read it for you York!”

York obliged moving Rosé’s arm so Grendan could read the piece of paper, stopping the three of them in the middle of the empty sidewalk.

“‘Romeo Fernando Sy, Private Investigator’?”

“Yeah, it’s Nando’s business card, I took it off him while we were talking earlier.” Rosé stated, twisting her wrist in York’s hand to turn the card towards herself. “Funny though, that him and his Husband are private eyes too. What a coincidence.”

“Husband?” York asked curiously.

“Well. He used the term partner, so I guess I shouldn’t assume. They may not be about the old labels, ey Grandma?”

Grendan nodded wisely. “You should always address people with the terms they prefer. Grandma felt pretty right, maybe I’ll bust it out again…But yeah, Watson was telling me all about those two, they sound like a real cute couple”

“Children!”

The three friends turned their head towards the distant yell. It was Jancy already at the end of the block, waiting for them, hands on hips.

“Sorry Jancy!” They chorused, running to catch up to their boss.

**Author's Note:**

> This was all an elaborate excuse to write Rosé shouting "I wont hesitate, BITCH"


End file.
